i live alone inside my head. but i cant ignore all that I’ve bottled up for over three years anymore and I’m getting scared because i don’t want to give in again. i will hate myself for it. all i can do for now is face everything being blunt so that i can at least get through today and pray for tomorrow. if i allow myself to accept the weakness in me i wont be able to handle it. but I’m scared and worry everyday that I’ll break and living in the society that i do, no one can know or see that I’m broken. i just cant, so i keep telling myself that I’m not broken, i just haven’t put all the pieces together but its just a lie i cant live anymore. i have so much pain inside that i just never noticed or knew about but its all caught up to me and I’m afraid. this has just made me sick but i don’t want to be this way. and everything i feel just makes me hate this so much more, i just hate this. i want to be free from this….please.