hey everyone.

This is has to do with my last post, “I was so proud.” I really appreciated all your advice. I ended up telling my boyfriend that I self injured and he completely understood, in fact, he used to also. So that felt so good to have someone actually understand, and he’s gonna help me in any way he can. During all of this however, my friend that moved away got in contact with me. The funny thing about this friend is that we used to date, and we were really serious. Dated for a LONG time. But in the end, he was moving and my mom wouldn’t let me see him anymore because we both got in a lot of trouble together. And one of the main reasons we broke up is cause he was in on drugs, and I did not like that one bit, because it was starting to consume him and that was the only thing he cared about. So we broke up and stayed friends, I mean you can’t push the person your in love with entirely out of your life, or at least I can’t. So anyways the other day he tells me he misses me and wants me back and is willing to give up drugs and everything he ever wanted (going into the army ex.) to be with me. So now I’m confused, I don’t know who I should decide on and it’s stressing me out to no end. Self injury feels like the only way out right now…but when I think about it or I’m about to I always think, “is this really gonna help you? What good will this do? It’s just gonna add more stress by trying to hide that I started again. Do you really wanna do this to yourself?” and by the time all that goes through my head I don’t want to self injure anymore. But my thoughts are getting weaker and the urge to injure is getting stronger. I need to make a decision soon before I crack.