After 8 months of being si free, I gave in yesterday. I don’t have any words to explain why I didn’t use healthier tools other than I came to a point where I just don’t care. I feel myself giving up. I hate myself and feel completely hopless. I made a huge life mistake and I don’t know where to go from here, but I know if I stay here too much longer is this frame of mind I will do more damge to myself. I wish there was someone who can point me in the right direction because obviously I don’t make the right decisions.
I recognize that I need some more help, but I have no real connection with my therapist, and I still have not made any friends here. I feel like a nobody and I am alone and hating it and me.