i just dont get it. i can have a great day, hanging out with family and being my happy self where everything is okay, but as soon as im alone, the irge to si comes back full force. and its not just sometimes im alone that i have the urge, its every time im alone. i just dont understand, i want it to go away. i want to be able to fight it more than i do. i want to be able to go to bed at night and not have to worry before whether or not ill be strong enough tonight or not.

i havent been on this site for very long but im glad that i found it bc its being able to let things out without soneone there trying to say something to make you feel better and solve ur problems right away with an “easy” solution. sometimes i just want to get it out there and off my chest. thanks. now off to bed knowing ill be strong enough tonight.