Hey everyone, it’s been a couple months since I’ve been on here. It’s also been a couple months since I S.Ied. (thanks to you guys) But last night I broke that record…:/ You see the reason I stopped for so long is because one of my really close friends said if I didn’t and he saw it, he’d never talk to me again. Now, I know that sounds pretty harsh comming from a good friend and all..but that’s just the way he is, and he knew that I’d stop if he said that, he just wants to protect me is all. But he moved away from me…and now I feel like I’m all alone, because he’s not here with me. And then I thought, you know, he’ll never see it again if I do because he’s in a completely different state. So I self injured, and I feel terrible. I broke my promise to him. I feel so selfish:[ And to top it all off, my boyfriend doesn’t know I self injure, has never seen my scars or anything. And I’m afraid to tell him because I don’t want him to not like me…or think of me differently. But I don’t want him to find out the hard way either. Some advice would be good right now, please give me your input, I’d really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry to hear that your good friend moved away. About the boyfriend situation, I personally would tell him. When I told my boyfriend I was afraid of the same things that you are, being rejected and not looking at me the same way, but when I told him he told me that he had injured himself too and that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and that if I ever need to talk to someone that I can always go to him. Tell him and make him understand that you don’t feel good about yourself when you do this, but it’s hard to stop. If he really cares about you he will understand and help you through this.
Good Luck(:
love&lights <3
Like the person above me said you should yell your bf. He might not understand it but tell him its something you are trying to stop and something you don’t plan on doing forever and his help. if he doesn’t understand there will be other guys.
And don’t be worry about slipping. It happens. Just remember how this time felt and next time you get the urge tell yourself you don’t need it and find another release whether its running blogging singing dancing texting ….whatever.
Good luck and stay strong. <3
I am so sorry that your friend moved away, that you are feeling lonely, and that you SIed. You should be proud of the progress you have made thus far and get back into not SIing. Try not to stress too much over slipping up once. You are only human and humans make mistakes. Besides, you need to quit for you, not because of a friend.
It seems that having someone close to you know about youSIing was a huge motivation for you to not SI. I think you should tell your boyfriend for many reasons. 1- if you want a lasting, meaningful relationship then there (in my opinion) needs to be honesty, openness, and trust. telling him about your SI supports that. 2 – not telling him and changing him finding out on his own is just going to create more stress on you and your relationship. he also might get upset that you were keeping something so serious from him. 3 – if you do tell him, and he likes you less, then he is not worth your time anayways and you will find better. you deserve someone that likes you completely and is willing to support you in your recovery.
I’d also suggest that you find other ways to relieve your stress/emotions other than SIing. Find a hobby or something that you love that you can do that makes you happy. something that makes time fly by without you even knowing it. it may not be easy to find, but keep trying. once you do, then it will be so much easier to do that hobby/activity instead of SI when you are feeling stressed.
Get back out there and on the road to no SI. You can do it, we are all here to support you throughout your journey as much as you would like us to.