Well, I told everyone even my therapist that i’ve been completely S.I. free since november but a month a go everything went down hill. My dad all of a sudden after being completely gone and out of my life decides that NOW now that he knows about my SI that he needs to get involved in my life but all he’s doing is putting so much pressure on me and i just can’t handle it. Then my grandmother who i am very very close with ends up in the hospital and no one knew if she was going to make it. everything just all happened so fast and all at once that i didn’t know what i was supposed to do. so I SIed. no one knows still. I don’t want everyone to think i’m weak for relapsing again. I’ve kept it cool for so long but i feel like it builds up in me so much that i just can’t deal with it. I feel so disappointed in myself and i just don’t know how i’m going to deal with my problems anymore. talking about it with a therapist just makes me feel worse cause she makes me talk about everything that triggers me. Like how my parents expect so much out of me because of my overachieving sister, and how my dad only now wants to be a part of my life but when i needed him most he was gone. I hate lying to her cause i know she can tell how upset i am i just feel so bad. i feel like i’ve let down all the people who really think i’m getting better. I don’t know what to do. i’m hurting so bad.
Hi there
My name is Ella Richards and I am a Psychology Honours student at Rhodes University, South Africa. I am a self-injurer but this post regards my research into the phenomenon. I am writing a thesis on the experiences of self-injurers’ communication. It involves me finding posts across the internet, which describe how a person reacted when they found out or were told by you about your self-injury. I am researching the responses people give, and the how a self-harmer felt about this reaction and I would really like to use your post in my research.
You do not have to actively participate in this study, but I do need to gain your permission to use your post. If you do choose to allow your posts to be used, you will remain completely anonymous; pseudonyms will be used, and any personal details will be kept confidential. If you do not consent to having your posts used in my thesis, they will not be used under any circumstances. For further information, please message me or email me at g06r0030@campus.ru.ac.za. Also, a similar message about my research has been posted at this address https://selfinjury.com/blog/
Thanks for your time 🙂
Take care,
Ella