I’m 16 and I don’t really know what to say. I want to tell people my story, not for attention, not for pitty, but so people can understand. I started using SI as a release when I was 12 years old. I began to be told I was worthless and that no one loved me. I believed the people that said these things to me. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to keep going. I didn’t know if my life meant enough to me to. There was a point when I didn’t know if I was going to let myself make it through another night. I sat in my room alone with music playing crying, screaming, using SI. I didn’t want to see the faces of all the people that hated me the next at school. I didn’t want to hide but I didn’t want anyone to know. I still feel this way. I’m dating someone and I can’t talk to him about it. He doesn’t know because he’s never been through it. I feel alone most of the time. I don’t know whether or not the people that say they’re my friends really are. I’ve been betrayed too many times to know. This is just the beginning though.
Hi there
My name is Ella Richards and I am a Psychology Honours student at Rhodes University, South Africa. I am a self-injurer but this post regards my research into the phenomenon. I am writing a thesis on the experiences of self-injurers’ communication. It involves me finding posts across the internet, which describe how a person reacted when they found out or were told by you about your self-injury. I am researching the responses people give, and the how a self-harmer felt about this reaction and I would really like to use your post in my research.
You do not have to actively participate in this study, but I do need to gain your permission to use your post. If you do choose to allow your posts to be used, you will remain completely anonymous; pseudonyms will be used, and any personal details will be kept confidential. If you do not consent to having your posts used in my thesis, they will not be used under any circumstances. If you are happy to let me use your post, please type your username into the blank, underlined space in the consent form below this message. (Remember, your username will not be used in the research so you will not be identified). For further information, please message me or email me at g06r0030@campus.ru.ac.za. Also, a similar message about my research has been posted at this address https://selfinjury.com/blog/
Thanks for your time 🙂
Take care,
Ella
RHODES UNIVERSITY
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY
AGREEMENT BETWEEN STUDENT RESEARCHER AND RESEARCH
PARTICIPANT
Updated 21st April 2010
I (participant’s name)______________ agree to participate in the research project of (researcher’s name) Ella Richards on non-suicidal self-injury and communicative experiences.
I understand that:
1. The researcher is a student conducting the research as part of the requirements for an Honours degree at Rhodes University. The researcher may be contacted on 082-886-8761 or g06r0030@campus.ru.ac.za. The research project has been approved by the Research Projects and Ethics Review Committee, and is under the supervision of Prof Michael Guilfoyle in the Psychology Department at Rhodes University, who may be contacted on m.guilfoyle@ru.ac.za.
2. The researcher is interested in the non-suicidal self-injurers’ experiences of communicating with people of varying relationships about their self-injury and related experiences.
3. My participation will involve allowing my posts about this experience to be used in this research.
4. The report on the project may contain information about my personal experiences, attitudes and behaviours that I have written in my posts, but the report will be designed in such a way that it will not be possible to identify the post as mine by the general reader. My personal information and any other persons mentioned will remain anonymous.
5. I will not be asked to answer questions of a personal nature nor will I be asked to disclose any information about my contact details aside from my email address. I will not have to answer any questions regarding the posts.
6. I am invited to voice to the researcher any concerns I have about my participation in the study, or consequences I may experience as a result of my participation, and to have these addressed to my satisfaction. Online counselling websites may be contacted for further support, such as eTherapistsonline.com (http://www.etherapistsonline.com/), MyShrink, a free counselling website with 24-hour services (http://www.myshrink.com/online-crisis-counseling.php), or Ask the Internet Therapist (http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/).
7. I am free to withdraw from the study at any time – however I commit myself to full participation unless some unusual circumstances occur or I have concerns about my participation which I did not originally anticipate.
8. I am entitled to a summary of the thesis and reflections if I request it, which will be sent to me via email.
9. I understand that as this is an electronic study I am not able to personally sign this form, but by typing my name in the allocated section, I equate this to my personal signature.
Signed on (Date):
Participant: ___________________________
Researcher: _____________________________
Hi again
I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who responded to my requests for consent, and to those of you who have posted offering your stories and help; it is greatly appreciated 🙂
I know everyone is likely to be busy, either at work or back at school, so I have decided to change the process of consent. If you are NOT comfortable with me using your posts in my research, please let me know before Friday otherwise I will take it as consent. I have contacted those whose posts I would like to use, so if I have contacted you, and you are not comfortable with this, please email or message me.
Regards,
Ella 🙂