i’m crying as i write this. today, while shopping for some clothes, i nearly started crying at how horrified at my outer appearance. there are surgery scars ALL OVER my stomach, and a scar from surgery on my back last year… i could feel myself tearing up and i havent felt this low about myself in the longest time… i’ve had a gut for the longest time and the thing is, i’m not even fat. and that’s depressing. and then i go online to my formspring a few hours later to find harrassing questions, most about sex and disgusting things…. but then the last one asks about my scholeosis, claiming they heard i have a “hunchback”. they said they looked through my facebook pics and couldn’t see one. they asked if i had one and said i was cute, but only if i didn’t have a hunchback. and i told them i did. why should i lie? Then i got to thinking: is that what people think of me now? The hunchback girl? Girl with the hunchback? I’m a freak and i always knew i was. i just hate myself so much right now and im hurting so much its not even funny. i have a feeling tonight won’t be peaceful. :'(