last night i end up siing. i did it cause i need 2 feel pain, i dont know y. i guess i need 2 feel pain 2 remind me of the years of abuse that i had 2 go through. i am trying 2 4get the years of abuse and move on, but it is hard 4 me to do. i think anothe reason is that i witness my father gwetting killed right ion front of me and i blame myself for his death. every1 is telling me that i was 2 young 2 do anything 2 prevet his death. i dont belive that, i feel guity and depressed about it. i have nightmares and flashbacks of it. another reason i think that i did it 4 is that my eating disorder. i feel like that i have 2 be in control of my life. 2 be in control of my life i have 2 feel pain that i do myself.
every night gone 2 bed
cried a million tears
so manny times been hurt
over these months and years
feeling sorry 4 myself
when i should learn how 2 4get
how can i if its all i think