Ever since I started to SI my life has gone in a downward spiral. I now injure in more than one way. I cried out to someone I trust through email, hoping to get some advice, they have not replied after saying they would. Probably because they saw me on some accounts and thought I was doing fine, or didn’t mean my email….
I am being unfair to guilt trip this person, but they told me to keep crying out, and they are one of the people I trust, so all I want to know is why? I am being so unfair…
But I feel so alone it hurts, it makes my heart ache. I cry to God every day to save me, but it doesn’t feel like he’s listening. I made a promise to myself to become thin today, and this promise I really meant. My eating disorder is really going to take a tole on me, but I guess I’m willing to do anything to give me control over this pathetic life.
I am telling all of you going through this, stop now, your life depends on it. Cry out to those around you. I have stopped doing that because I am too afraid.
I totally agree, self-injury can and does only lead to a downward spiral in life. Recovery is the only way to achieve freedom! Self-injury has helped to destroy my life, including relationships and my jobs and my personal sense of self. I was almost kicked out of college for my behaviors and I almost died as a result of an injury gone too far — the only way to life a productive and healthy life is to get help and stop hurting yourself.
It’s difficult for me. It’s like an addiction or something. I’ve been to Butler Hospital several times over the last 5 years for help (its in RI). They were awesome in helping me. I went thru several of their partial hospital programs too. The problem is me trying to apply these skills I learned. I’m very impulsive when I am angry or sad. I am actually thinking about admitting myself to the Safe Alternatives residential program. I need serious help.
SAFE Residential program would be awesome to attend… I can’t wait until they can get one going for adults again 🙂
You can email me if you need to talk. My email is nofx09@hotmail.com. I check my email several times a day because Im trying to help as many people as possible on this blog.