after i bloged yeserday about the things that make me si, i ended up siing. i couldnt handle the thoughts that was runing through my head. i was having flashbacks of the my fathers death and the rape. i feel like my behaviors r getting out of control. i find myself siing more.  i want to stop both of my behaviors. i know that i could stop cause i stop in the past, i dont know what made me start again. i neeed to learn coping skills that i could do instead of my siing behavior. and i need to get more self eestem in myself that i wont be focused on what i look like so i wont injure.