I am sad and feeling very alone with how I feel right now. My confidence level has gone down quite a bit lately and I feel that everyone is judging me. I have so much I should be happy about right now and all I feel is sad, and angry – mostly at myself. I get so down on myself and want to take it all out on my body.
I recently read some news article about how there is this small business in some city that rents out friends. So if you want to do something with someone like scrapbooking you can rent a friend for a few hours to share your scrapbooking craft with you. So I was talking to someone at work about this and she made fun of it saying why would anyone do that. Who doesn’t have friends. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell her that I am one of those people who could use a friend.
It has been over three months since I moved to a new city and I still feel so lonely and “friendless”. Not that I think having someone to hang out with would cure everything, but I feel it may give me a small boost in my self esteem. I start to get really down on myself thinking that everyone is judging me and secretly disliking me. And I know it is not “all about me” and that people probably don’t judge me because they don’t even notice me, but somehow that makes me feel worse.
I have wanted to Si a lot more in the past few weeks. I am trying to stay strong and as positive as my low self confidence and low self esteem will let me, but I am slowly losing the battle.
awe you’re never alone trust me. i’m right there with ya!! if you need to talk,email me at annacatchou@gmail.com okkay? please dont hurt yourself its not worth it trust me. you have friends you just havent realized it yet.
I know how it feels to think everyone is judging you, and how it feels to not have many friends. One way that really helps to gain self confidence and self esteem, especially about your body, is to work out. I hate working out and am super lazy so that may seem hypocritical; but when i work out, even if its just doing a handful of situps before i go to bed or before school it still helps me feel better about myself a little. You can always email me if you need someone to talk to or message me on msn, if you ever need someone to talk to or someone just to listen, feel free to shoot me a message. My email is dragonfairy14@hotmail.com
Sincerely Hollie
You are never alone. And you cannot be defeated by this unless you allow that to happen. You are strong, and it looks to me like you can pick yourself up from this. You have recognized a weak point, and now you need to use your resources to fend off anything that could potentially ruin your recovering. Call someone, write things down, email a fellow self injurer to kind of short circuit things, or take a walk and clear your head, everytime you feel the need to. When you find ways to combat your thoughts, you overcome. and you will overcome. i have faith in that.
<3 rescue