It’s 1:57 in the morning and I feel like trash.I yelled at my mom for really no reason at all.She just came into the living room to ask my sisters and me a question.She gave me a kiss on the head and rubed my hair.I smelled the smell I HATE!!!!! Oil oil that they anoint you with at churches when they pray for you.I HATE it the oil is a BIG NOOOO IN MY WORLD!!! My mom used to come into my room every night and pray over me anointing me with this oil,and I HATE IT WITH A FREAKIN PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!! I HATE IT!! I know I should’nt have reacted to her the way I did,but after months of being prayed for while haveing that oil put on me.UGH!!!! who would’nt? I promise my mom thinks i’m like demon possesed or something.She thinks i’m losing my conection with God so she shooves it down my throat or at least thats what I see from my view.If there’s anything holding me back it’s her!I’m still debateing wheither or not to tell my councelor about my eating disorders.I already asked her if she councels for eating disorders she said yes.So if I ever do tell her I could have her to councel me for S.I. and my eating disorders.Wich gives me some comfort,but my main discomfort is my mom she can’t know that i’m hurting myself physicaly and health wise.It would make things really bad she already freaks out when i’m in the bathroom for more than like 5 minutes excpesially when i’m shaveing.So if she finds out about my eating disorders UGH! That’s the end right there NO LIE! I know I should tell my councelor,but I just CAN’T have my mom freaking out.So i’m just not gonna tell her,but if i’ve made it to my desired size/weight and i’m still counseling with my councelor then I might tell my counceler.But i’m pretty sure my councelor will see sign affects of my eating disorders.