It’s 1:57 in the morning and I feel like trash.I yelled at my mom for really no reason at all.She just came into the living room to ask my sisters and me a question.She gave me a kiss on the head and rubed my hair.I smelled the smell I HATE!!!!! Oil oil that they anoint you with at churches when they pray for you.I HATE it the oil is a BIG NOOOO IN MY WORLD!!! My mom used to come into my room every night and pray over me anointing me with this oil,and I HATE IT WITH A FREAKIN PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!! I HATE IT!! I know I should’nt have reacted to her the way I did,but after months of being prayed for while haveing that oil put on me.UGH!!!! who would’nt? I promise my mom thinks i’m like demon possesed or something.She thinks i’m losing my conection with God so she shooves it down my throat or at least thats what I see from my view.If there’s anything holding me back it’s her!I’m still debateing wheither or not to tell my councelor about my eating disorders.I already asked her if she councels for eating disorders she said yes.So if I ever do tell her I could have her to councel me for S.I. and my eating disorders.Wich gives me some comfort,but my main discomfort is my mom she can’t know that i’m hurting myself physicaly and health wise.It would make things really bad she already freaks out when i’m in the bathroom for more than like 5 minutes excpesially when i’m shaveing.So if she finds out about my eating disorders UGH! That’s the end right there NO LIE! I know I should tell my councelor,but I just CAN’T have my mom freaking out.So i’m just not gonna tell her,but if i’ve made it to my desired size/weight and i’m still counseling with my councelor then I might tell my counceler.But i’m pretty sure my councelor will see sign affects of my eating disorders.
Hi – I thought I’d chime in and suggest you not worry so much what you will tell your therapist/counselor. It’s their job to worry about that, you just go in and tell her what’s going on. I would suggest you tell her about the oil and how much you hate it. Start with that. You may not think it’s important to talk about, but I think it’s very important.
You’ll do great, just keep reaching out.
Pam
dont just assume that the counselor will see it there there for you to confide in and if you cant trust a counselor how will you get better and not telling parents what is going on causes them to imagine the worst you should really let in on these kind of things and tell her how you feel about the praying and water but sit and talk calmly dont just bust at her from no where and start barking orders that gives the impression of imaturity….. good luck :).
Thanks,but I don’t know i’m not entirelly sure.