Today marks 30 days since I was discharged from the hospital.  Now Mercy Ministries can officially accept me as part of their waiting list… wow… it has been a long and scary 30 days though.  I kept my No Harm Contract that I signed with my doctor and a nurse at the hospital at my discharge.

Now, I’m starting to feel nervous and excited.  As long as I keep on doing what I’m supposed to do and not back track too far, I’ll be able to go to Mercy Ministries.  I still have homework assignments to complete and check-in’s to make, along with following my local doctor’s orders and such.  Hopefully, just hopefully I’ll be able to prove to them that I want this and that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get better.

The urges are still bad though, which kinda gets me feeling down sometimes.  Using my coping skills helps, yet nights are still the worst time.  I’m having trouble sleeping because I’m so axious.  My family isn’t very supportive about me getting help and I’m back living with them until a bed opens up at Mercy.  I think my family wants me to remain ill, which is very sad.  They are focused on themselves and remaining sick – but I’m not, at least not anymore.

Yay, I’ve made it to see Day 30!