I really thought I was doing better. I was sleeping fine for a while. I didn’t worry about school at the end of aug. And here I am at 220 a.m wide awake and stressed. All I want to do is si right now. And the only thing that’s really holding me back is the lack of a place that won’t be visible. Were going to las vegas with my parents next week and sharing a hotel room so I won’t really have any privacy. That’s really the only thing holding me back and it makes me sick. I feel like a failure for even thinking of this. I had said this summer was about bettering myself losing weight working out. It seems like that’s the only thing I havnt done. Idk why I’m so lazy. I hate myself right now. More than I could ever explain. Maybe ill watch infomercials until I fall asleep. I just needed to talk to someome…or something.