Should I really tell my counselor about my eating disorders?Even though I don’t want help with it. I’m seeing her for my S.I. ,and I don’t even really want help with that anymore.But I can’t dissapoint my mom so i’m not gonna tell her I don’t really want help anymore.I hate dissapointing people especialy friends and family.I just really don’t know what to do my mom already bugged me today. for some reason I just really want to cry and injure.Uuuugh please HELP!!!!!
Sometimes it feels like you’re drowning, right? Like an ocean of bad feelings and blue is just pressing down on you. It’s hard to swallow food, though, when you’re choking on all those negative emotions. It’s hard to know what to live for when you’re ten feet under. But sometimes living for sundaes, or the satisfaction you feel at acing that math quiz, or the belly-aching laugh at your friend slipping on the rug is enough. Your mom will be hurt that you’re hurting, but she’ll try to understand. Tell someone you need help and you don’t know why because you’re so badly hurting, but that you want to learn the good things in life again. Life is so beautiful. Don’t waste a second.
I can’t tell anyone I wan’t help because I don’t!
You have to want help for yourself. No one can want it for you.
Tell your mom that you don’t want help right now. No one can force you to get better. Either you want it or you don’t. You need to remember how your actions do hurt others, including your mom and friends – not to mention yourself. Sometimes we have to start getting better because we know we NEED to, rather than WANT to.
You are hurting other people when you hurt yourself, whether or not you intend to hurt them. It is normal and healthy for other people to not want YOU to hurt THEM through your behaviors. When I was in the hospital, I met a mom who has a son who deals with self-injury. It hurt her to see her son hurt himself and I had never seen a parent care that much about their child, but I could tell that his behaviors were really getting to her. She is a nurse and hasn’t always known what to do to help her son stop. The pain in her eyes when we talked and the concern in her eyes when we talked, it really impacted me.
Your mom cares and that is why she is trying to get you help. You might not want help, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need help. Wants and needs are different. One has to do with being selfish and the other has to do with being responsible. When we need something, it has to do with responsiblity and taking care of ourselves and others. Wants can be lived without, as wants are usually luxaries.
For example, treatment is a need for me. It isn’t necessarily a want. Without additional treatment, I’ll die. If I return to self-injury and actively engaging in my eating disorder, one or both of them will kill me. Now I want treatment as much as I need it.
Bottom line, be honest with your mom. She just wants the best for you and she doesn’t want to see you hurt.
I was debating once if I should get help and tell my mom about my self injury, and I didn’t want to cause like you, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. So I called a hotline and talked to someone about it. They told me to think of it this way. You have a cold, but you don’t want to go to the doctor because you don’t want to disturb anyone or cause any trouble or disappoint because your sick. Now how silly does that sound? :] So I hope by getting that point of view it helped you make up your mind. Stay strong and good luck:]
i think you should be honest and tell your mom and your counselor. although noone can help you if you do not want the help, sometimes we cannot see how much we actually badly want it until we get a push from someone else to seek it out. at least if you tell your counselor then she can help provide you with the help when you are ready for it. sometimes treatment can get frustrating and make you want to give up. i think everyone struggles through that ontop of everything else they are already going through that got them to treatment or therapy in the beginning. its hard to stay strong and keep working towards bettering yourself. you only get one life, why waste it being unhappy? easier said than done. i think everyone on here knows that. i guess what i am saying is that you shouldnt give up. everyone around you cares for you. maybe even more than you care for yourself at times. you cant worry about disappointing other people, as hard as that is. you need to do what is best for you. so you can get healthy and be happy and enjoy life again. i spent way too long sitting in my problems and wasting life. dont do the same. keep going with therapy so you can start living again.
Thank you everyone for trying to help.But I honestly don’t know.I can’t tell my mom I don’t really want help anymore cause she would flip! She is a super OVERLY GODLY WOMAN! She prayes for me every night and puts oil all over me and I HATE IT WITH A PASSION!It makes me want to curse her out and yell at her.I bet she thinks i’m demon posesed or something along those lines.I can’t tell my counselor even though I want to,but she will tell my mom and plus the Thursday coming up.I have my I think 3rd counseling session,and she’s just helping with S.I. i’m not just bring up oh I have an eating disorder.
Yes, you are right – she’ll have to tell your mom. Eating disorders and self-injury often co-exist and your mom might already know that you have been hurting yourself.
Maybe you and your counselor could tell your mom together?
Remember this — Just because you are self-injuring, doesn’t mean you have to be hospitalized immediately or any other “drastic treatment”. A good counselor will hear you out and make sure you don’t need immediate medical attention for your wounds and then help you start addressing the emotional/ mental side of what is happening. Self-injury and suicide are two different things, so hospitalization isn’t always the first course of treatment. Often, you can address self-injury with counseling alone… and never have to end up the hospital for treatment of either your wounds or your injuries.
From my experience, I’ve had hospitalization for both my eating disorder and self-injury. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I was hospitalized due to medical and I was emotionally a mess. When I left the hospital, I was considerably better and I’m grateful for my hospitalization experience. However, I have seen a counselor in the past when I was self-injuring and never had to be admitted to the hospital then. The only reason I went into the hospital this last time was because my wounds required that I be treated and I had a court order for treatment. While in the hospital, my eating disorder flared and I was subsequently treated for that as well. I was stablized and treated substancially for both, then discharged. Now I’m awaiting a bed at another treatment center BY CHOICE.
The sooner you address the self-injury, the less likely you are to end up the hospital or someplace else – where you don’t have control. Eventually, self-injury can take over your life and your mom will really find out about it. It would be easier and safer and healither for you to come out NOW about everything, get it addressed, and move on with your beautiful life. Don’t let self-injury still be dominating and controlling you 10 years from now.
I’m almost 28 and I’m speaking from experience. I care about you and I’m worried. You have a counselor and now is your chance to take care of yourself. Talk with your counselor about it and yes, she’ll have to tell your mom — but you can be there when she talks with her about it or she can be there when you tell her. Telling your mom now will be much easier than later. Tell your mom before it gets too late.
You sound mature enough to realize that your self-injury is becoming a problem. I can tell by your post that you are struggling and that self-injury bothers you. Mature people talk about their problems, so they can learn how to face them head on. Keep staying strong. You don’t have to fight this alone — people need people and you don’t have to keep this secret if you don’t want to.
Thank you for the addvice. I’m already in counseling for my S.I. so obviously my mom knows.Thanks for careing also.But I really can’t tell my counselor,but if you read my post Haveing Doubts About Counseling you’ll see my idea on this. And you honestly think i’m mature i’m only 12 soon to be 13 this Friday.