i’m at a lock in right now, its 2:45 am here, i hear wispers all around me, its a church thing but i feel completely pushed aside, i feel like a failure, if i can’t be excepted by them than will anyone except me? i’m so down right now and absolutely no one knows, my best friend is so caught up in telling her stories to see i am breaking, i want to si so bad and i have no faith that will make it through tmrw clean, i know its just a matter of time and i will fall…. I am in charge of a lot of stuff here and i feel like no one sees me as the leader i am suppose to be it hurts and no one knows, i’m done.