The fireflies of pain,
of yesterday’s sorrows.
What did he say?
Was it that I don’t know better,
That he knows it all.
Is that what he thinks?
And even if he does believe that I live in a hole
Ignorant, stupid, naive and confused,
I know he’s wrong…
yes…
do I?
…of course, um,
I was just tired that day,
blanking out.
…That’s all.
But I know that it’s my fault;
Why do I let what he said take control over my thoughts and my ugly actions.
Why do I smolder,
unable to think,
emotionally unstable,
rocking from side to side
empty eyed, afraid.
a fade of hope,
a loss of words,
suddenly apathetic,
to crying babies,
to starved souls,
even to the orange and pink sunset.
This is not me,
How do I ignore his judgmental vibe
and sneering eyes?
Well, I guess it’s all about writing,
connecting,
right here,
on this blog!
Maybe my hurt is yours,
Just like yours was mine,
when I read a blog post here,
for the first time,
tears rushing in my eyes,
as I learn about
the strength of a girl who was able to do it,
to write, to put aside the world for a second,
just one, and write,
Saving herself, saving me
for a minute
for the first time.