Tonight I injured myself.  I did this only to be able to hide it.  I was desperate for a release.

Tonight, Earlier, I found out that my boyfriend of a year in 13 days kissed his friend Courtney last night when he went over to talk to her last night when he needed comfort because he was fighting with his best friend. He snuck over to her house because he knows I don’t like him over there and it was past 11 . She is a gorgeous blonde who use to date my brother who use to be a friend to me.  She has a boyfriend of like 8 months that she cheated on with my boyfriend.  I am absolutely devestated and betrayed.

I feel what I have already done is not enough to release. I am so angry with him, but I just want him to come over and hug me to make it better since he is my best friend and I always go to him, but when I hug him and stuff since he told me earlier I dont feel what I felt before. Its gone for me right now.  Im too brokenhearted to be able to really be like that right now. I am not supossed to see him tomorrow, I dont want to, yet I do. He has me so torn I am combusting.

He broke my heart, I broke my clean streak.