I’ve tried to hold off writing on here because I feel like I’m a burden I guess but today was bad to say the least. My Uncle for the past few years has been doing drugs but only this year did we find out and for awhile I think it stopped or something or maybe it was just because my mom was pregnant for awhile so people left her out of the whole drama stuff with him. But then she lost the baby and now (especially this week) it’s started again with her drinking a lot and she gets moody easily and I can’t stand to be around her anymore. Because it’s almost summer for us my parents are like, “your not going to spend everyday in ur room on ur laptop.” But what they don’t get is that I do it so I don’t have to be around her. Whenever she touches me or talks to me I get angry because after she drinks a lot (idk if she’s drunk or not i think she has a really high tolerance for alcohol where she doesn’t get drunk) her voice changes to this softer voice where she acts like she knows EVERYTHING! And she’s not fun when she’s like that I mean when she doesn’t use she makes me laugh with all her crazy little things she says and does. Sometimes she doesn’t use for day or even a week once I think and it was the BEST! But usually it’s not like that or it is but not for long. Today she complained (continuously) because I was talking meanly to her and talking nicely to my dad but that’s how I am. I honestly don’t know what I want people to give me advice about I guess I just want to see if anybody is going/has gone through it and if you’ve gone through it? Is there always going to be this huge gap between us because when she’s not drinking I’m okay, I feel happy my depression is less, but I also know that it’s going to happen again and I kinda just wait for that other shoe to drop, and then when she is using everything’s worse. I’ve already said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again on here I’m not touching a drop of alcohol or a cigarette ever…and it’s all because of her.