I’m 14 and almost 15 and my best friend passed away yesterday because of cancer. He was the only person that kept me from SIing myself… he did it too before he got sick and we promised each other we wouldn’t do it. Sometimes we broke the promise but it helped a lot…he helped me through my difficult life. He was my hero and now he’s gone…I can’t believe it… </3 I loved him so much more then a friend and he loved me also… it’s like we were made for each other everyone i knew said that about us. It’s like we were soul mates even adults said that. I know I’m only 14 but i think i was in love with him when his father told me he was gone. I didn’t know what to do i haven’t stopped crying since i found out yesterday my eyes hurt, my face hurts, my stomach hurt but most of all my heart hurts. I found out so much more after he passed which is making it harder his father told me that all he talked about was me and when he was having a bad day or wasn’t feeling good the instant i started talking to him he had hope that he was going to live. His father and the doctors said he couldn’t have stayed alive and gotten as far as he did without me there to talk to him. My best friends very last words were this “She’s amazing” his family asked who? he said “Stephanie” (which is my name) then he smiled and closed his eyes and then he was gone… that touched me. Every time i think about it I start crying. I know he’s in a better place now but he was like my only friend, hes the one that made me feel good about myself, hes the one that kept the tears away…kept the tools away… I miss him so much…this is going to the first day without talking to him at least once since we met. We met december 10th, 2009 and I haven’t gone a day without talking to him now I have no choice…someone help i don’t know how to deal with this I feel dead.