It’s hard for me to write right now. I am just really upset and on the verge of SI after 6 months of using “healthy” tools. Things are not going well right now. Emotionally I am exhausted. I feel like I can’t find my purpose. I try to, I pray about it, but nothing. I should be happy. I am blessed with so much.
I don’t fit in anywhere. It is very tiring to try so hard everyday to gain something I never will. I want something else, but I don’t know what that something else is. I am stuck and it is making me feel so depressed. I am not sure what to do. It is so difficult to see the good sometimes and keep pushing through. I need support, but I am having a hard time finding it lately and that just makes me feel worse.
I know I am choosing to go down a dark path again. I can feel it, but I don’t have the strength to fight it right now. It is too difficult.
I totally know how you feel. And honestly, I wish I had some advice for you, but I don’t. But I guess what I can say, is just keep on praying. Someone told me to thank God for even small things, like music or rain or something like that, and it could spur our faith, a change of heart.
If you need someone to talk to, my email is lo.st.andconfused@hotmail.com
Okay, I know how you feel. I don’t have any advice for you. Faith can help, but hope changes all. I may not make since but it’s okay.
If you need some help email me at rawrriphonerawrr@gmail.com
love, dreaming star
Everything you just said, is exactly how I feel, I just haven’t put it in perfect wording like you just did. One of my friends told me that in order to find purpose, to find what you’re looking for, sometimes you have to do the opposite of what you think. Instead of trying and trying, take a step back, and let things happen. Sometimes you have to let yourself be lead to what you need, even if you don’t know what that thing is. But that advice can be confusing, and I don’t want to mislead you into starting to S.I. again, thinking that I’m telling you to give up and stop trying to keep yourself from doing that. I believe completely that even though it’s tiring, you should keep trying to not S.I., but for other parts of your life, maybe letting things happen instead of pushing yourself and tiring yourself out. I found out a lot about myself and I can feel myself being lead to what I want most (even though I don’t know what that is yet) because I let myself breathe and I don’t force it to happen. My intention isn’t to confuse you more. I don’t know if it works with the personality you have, but if you’re like me, this might be able to help you out a bit. Give it a shot if you like it, and if it doesn’t work, then that’s okay too. I hope I helped spark even a little faith or inspiration.
P.s. Music and art help me a lot. :] Good luck, stay strong.<3