It’s hard for me to write right now.  I am just really upset and on the verge of SI after 6 months of using “healthy” tools. Things are not going well right now. Emotionally I am exhausted. I feel like I can’t find my purpose. I try to, I pray about it, but nothing. I should be happy. I am blessed with so much.

I don’t fit in anywhere. It is very tiring  to try so hard everyday to gain something I never will. I want something else, but I don’t know what that something else is. I am stuck and it is making me feel so depressed. I am not sure what to do. It is so difficult to see the good sometimes and keep pushing through. I need support, but I am having a hard time finding it lately and that just makes me feel worse.

I know I am choosing to go down a dark path again. I can feel it, but I don’t have the strength to fight it right now. It is too difficult.