Ladder

Somebody throw me a ladder

Get me out of this darkness

Before I relapse,

All I need is a saviour,

Strong arms to hold me,

Protect me,

Carry me through this darkness.

I can’t see, I can’t breathe,

I’m so close, but so far away from

Healing,

I need a ladder,

Out of this hole.

I told me mom yesterday about how I feel like I’m stuck in a hole. Last night, she gave me something.

She gave me a paper ladder with “all you need is love” and the names of some of our family members on it. It was so beautiful and I cried and she cried and I felt so loved.

But I felt scared because I know that my pain is hurting her.

I hate hurting her. and everybody else.

I don’t know what to do.

Relapse and hurt everybody, especially myself.

Stay strong and save everybody and myself the hurt, but these feelings will still be pounding. Keep going this way, in this halfway place, not better but completely broken.

I don’t know any other options.

Staystrong