Ladder
Somebody throw me a ladder
Get me out of this darkness
Before I relapse,
All I need is a saviour,
Strong arms to hold me,
Protect me,
Carry me through this darkness.
I can’t see, I can’t breathe,
I’m so close, but so far away from
Healing,
I need a ladder,
Out of this hole.
I told me mom yesterday about how I feel like I’m stuck in a hole. Last night, she gave me something.
She gave me a paper ladder with “all you need is love” and the names of some of our family members on it. It was so beautiful and I cried and she cried and I felt so loved.
But I felt scared because I know that my pain is hurting her.
I hate hurting her. and everybody else.
I don’t know what to do.
Relapse and hurt everybody, especially myself.
Stay strong and save everybody and myself the hurt, but these feelings will still be pounding. Keep going this way, in this halfway place, not better but completely broken.
I don’t know any other options.
Staystrong
Stay strong.<3 What your mother did for you was beautiful and inspirational. You're surrounded by love and support. Keep trying to stay clean, but if you slip up, don't leave your family out of it. Even if you know it will hurt them, it will hurt them much more if they find out without you openly going to them for help. Try your hardest; your mom gave you a ladder, maybe not the exact one you're looking for, but one that can help you keep climbing your way out of darkness, out of confusion, out of sadness. You feel broken now, but I think that if you S.I., a little while after it, you'd feel worse than you do without doing it. Prove you're alive by keeping your heart beating because of your family and the ladder your mom just gave you. You have two options, go for the one that will all around help you, not break you down because of self injury. S.I. is not the way to prove your existence, breathe, my dear, and keep looking for a way out of the hole.
Thank you so much. What you said was so beautiful. I love the phrase “prove you’re alive”. It’s so beautiful and inspirational.
Thank you.
Staystrong