I’m 16 yrs old and this is the first time I’ve ever really considered even visiting one of these sites. I guess its because I can feel myself slipping into an uncontrollable state of being. I have had a problem with S.I. for almost two years. I’ve always been more of an independent type of person. I’d rather fail on my own than ask for help. But now I can feel my self slipping and I’m scaring myself. I’m starting to wonder if I can really do this on my own anymore. I’m scared. Scared that if I don’t get help I know where I might end up. But if I get help…I’ve never done that before I have no idea what that entails and I’m too scared to find out. I’m on my own. I feel so alone and I guess I need to know that I’m not. And that I’m not the worthless type of person my parents have led me to believe. I’ve been through hell and back and have had the “opportunity of seeing my family ripped apart because of me and had to fake a smile and be there for everyone around me. I’ve always been the one to take care of everyone else. But now as I begin to slip off of what feels to be a cliff and fall no one is there to catch me. To stop me from falling. To help me. After I’ve helped and saved everyone. I’m on my own and I’m scared. I feel weird pouring my heart out to a computer screen but still…it’s all I have right now.
Please get help. I know it’s so scary but honestly battling urges and terrible nights is pretty scary too. Therapy really does help if you let it.
Good luck and of course all of us are here for support anytime :]
I feel the exact same way. I am 16, independent, alone, scared, and never want to ask for help. I put on a smile to get through the day without questions. Once i reached out to some people things began to get better. i am still working at it a day at a time, but trying to be positive. just know you are not alone. if you want to talk, get advice, or vent, email me larmstrong@fvs.edu. things will get better 🙂