I may look okay on the outside, and in a way I’m getting better. But on the inside, it’s… horrible. I don’t know how to explain that I live in constant fear of destruction. That my friends will leave, that my family will fight, that I will slip up (I’ve wanted to so badly. for no reason at all.) or that I might actually trust someone. I’m afraid to trust anyone in this new life with what actually goes on in my head. My old life, had gotten so bad everyone thought I was suicidal, all because I decided to trust 1 person. Oops… And I kind of was, but not badly. I wanted to die, but I wasn’t gonna bring that on myself. I’ve completely left those people behind now and sometimes I wonder what they have thought of me, but that doesn’t matter. It seems like I’m in a whole new world and I think a few of them (the people in my ‘new world’) know the real me, but no one truly understands because I’m so afraid to trust. I’m running out of worlds to run away to. I’m trying so hard to find a way to let this go, this part of me that consumes me. But I just don’t know how.