Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve been on here. I think it was a few months ago the last time I blogged… I had managed to go about 3 months without injuring, and then this past Wednesday, I SI’d. It was a really stressful week, and I just.. cracked. It was really disappointing, and I still am – The longest time I’ve ever gone without SI’ing is only 3 months. Whoopdiedoo… Hopefully summer will be better, at least it provided some reprive for me last year.
Now, it’s completely fine if nobody needs this, because I honestly just need to vent to someone, or at least vent to my computer. All my friends always come to me for help, about a dilemma they’re in or even dating issues, and it’s nice to feel that people trust me. But it’s just, sometimes, I feel like I’m the alternate friend, the person people go to when plan “A” doesn’t work. People never ask me how *I* feel, it’s always about *their* problems. I’m just the person who catches them when they fall, and nothing more. And I’m starting to get really tired of it. Can people really be that unaware that I’m depressed, that I’m early going through something bigger than mere “friend drama”? Or maybe they just don’t care enough to say anything. I know I probably sound really selfish, but all this is really taking a heavy toll on my already-low self-esteem. I’m starting to lose faith really quickly, in others and even more in myself, and I don’t know if it will ever come back once it’s gone. God help me.