I feel so confined, like I can’t get out. It’s almost as though there is an elephant sitting on my chest… i’m losing touch with everything…
so this week was so stressful and i guess I just snapped. What’s disappointing is the fact that I’ve been doing so well.
I had been having a rough day and the last period of the day I just freaked out on my friend because she was being unreasonable. I slammed out of the classroom and ran into the hallway. Everyone could tell I was crying.
I immediately proceeded to the bathroom and began crying. I sat on the toilet seat for thirty minutes balling my eyes out. Then I self injured. I went home and carried out another one of my vices.
Now I’m fighting with all my friends because it feels good. It feels good to say all those mean and hurtful things I’ve kept bottled up for so long. I just don’t care anymore. No one understands. I’m just done. I want to disappear and have no one care about me.
I’m like a bomb… all of these self destructive behaviors will add up until I cease to exist.