Hey so I know I haven’t been on here in awhile but today it was just bad…i was criticized a lot by my signing (ASL) ability from a hearing friend and it really hurt more than anything else probably because I want to go into deaf education. And then she acted like i didn’t know anything about the dance were doing for a variety show at my school. But the problem is, is that she’s a PERFECTIONIST to the max and when she’s signing everyone watches her and she acts like she’s amazing when she signed almost the whole song…it’s not like I couldn’t do the same thing…I’m in ASL 2 she’s in ASL 1 and she signs better than me and it hurts not that I’m jealous but it’s more because I try harder but somehow everytime she gets people’s attention and I mean yesterday it was a great day but today first I was criticized A LOT and I know that criticism is good…I don’t mind it but she embarrassed me in front of the other four deaf girls and it hurt…and then she begged me to go to the bathroom with her and i did and that’s when she started signing the same song and after she was like oooh i’m a good interpreter ooh i’m really good at signing and i said ur really into urself an she was like no i’m not. But i was thinking yes you are! I don’t get why I’m worse like why couldn’t God make me good at one language?! And I love this language I love their culture I love it all but i’m not good enough. I hate that feeling! Yesterday was perfect it was fun i was showing two deaf girls a game and they loved it today was awful!
Let me tell you I went through the same thing with someone who had been my bestest friend. It took a year before I realized that the way she was acting was because she had a problem! She was insecure and in turn she has helped my insecurities grow. Still three years later I look at myself with disdain in those areas that she used to hurt me in. Putting down my hips, my personality. I am telling you this because you have to stop it now. If you love what you are doing. I want you to stop it before she gets to you like my friend got to me. I feel you can be great in what you are doing if you keep trying. Perfection is so ugly anyway. So boring and so fake. Perfect isn’t real.
Quite honestly I don’t know what to do about the fact that you feel you are not enough, because I feel that way a lot of times too.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. And I’m soo sorry about your best friend I’m sure your perfect the way you are love who you are because I’m sure your a beautiful person inside and out! And I’m sure that your more than enough to everyone who knows you because your such a beautiful person! Thank you again and don’t believe her know that your better off without her!
Thank You!!! I hope you figure everything out with that person! Feel free to let it loose again if she gets all rude again!
Wow that was a lot of A gains!