I don’t really know where to begin…

Well, my boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. But we were fighting because of my parents. I’m afraid…that it’s tearing us apart. If I lose him…I’ll go insane. I don’t know what I’ll do. He’s the only person I feel truly loves me, but now I feel like the love is fading away. He never talks to me anymore, and makes up stupid excuses for not calling me or not answering my calls. And now he doesn’t come to see me very much anymore and just yesterday he had a girl at his house…and he’s cheated on me before..but only once and he’s been apologizing every since, but now I’m terrified that he has again. He used to be so sweet to me and do everything he could to show he loves me, but now he doesn’t. I think we’ll soon drift apart, and it’s killing me. I’ve been trying to be strong, I really have. It’s been 2 months since I S.Ied. But today I gave up, and I feel like such a failure. And now I just want to do it more, because I feel like that’s what I deserve. Please help me….please? :[