so today was a good day. nothing majorly stressful.  nothing terrible bad.  i had switched cars so i could take the baby out for a while today and not hook up the car seat in my car. so i had to wait for him to get home so i could go home rather than my sis in law to get home as usual.  anyways he gets home i go to leave and he asks me why i dont just hang out at their house.  well i knew we have people coming over tomorrow at my house and felt i had to help my mom and i hadnt seen my dad since wednesday so i said no and went home.  i get home we have dinner and my parents decide we should go to a casino about an hour away.  im like whatever im down to go.  we get about 20 mins away from the casino my brother calls my mom asking if i can watch the baby so they could go out.  my mom lies to them and tells them we are in town when i have no idea why she even lied to begin with.  she could have simply said sorry we are out by the casino now and we wanted to be out.  but no. she lied and said sure why not your sister can come watch him, is 11 ok? im like really? why? ive been watching their child, all day yesterday and today. and since we have family coming tomorrow i cant go out tomorrow night, so now im pretty much stuck.  so none the less we make a u turn and head back to town so i can go home, change and go to my brothers. (which i am at now btw) now none of this is terribly stressful.  there were no major arugments or anything.  idk why i have such a big urge to Si right now..  idk why.  like as i was driving back all i could think about was how i could si when i got to their house.   this isnt something terribly stressful.  it shouldnt make me want to si.  but it does.  and its taking every ounce of self control not to.  and i wont.  i know its bad and i cant.  so i wont.  but ugh. i dont know. i dont even mind being here right now.  im comfortable im warm, im online with my phone by me and a good book to read later.  i have a horrible headache now thinking of wanting to si.  blaaah idk.

p.s thank you for all who replied to my last post.  =]  i feel so much better knowing im actually going towards a goal i want.  <3