I had the worst days thursday and friday. My parents thought I had stopped SIing along time ago but I got back into doing it and they found out thursday. I was pouring tea for my mom and my dad saw my injuries and freaked out. I tried telling him to not tell my mom but when I went to go touch his arm he looked at me with a disgusted look and said to not toach him and get away. Then he was telling me I had to go see a doctor and I told him I wouldn’t and we got in a huge fight and some how we got to the point were he was telling me that he was going to send me to juve(i dont know how to spell that). So I told him I was leaving and then thats when he said he was going to call the cops and send me to juve. He was so mad and my mother oh my god!!! My mother is hardly ever nice to me she is always in a nasty mood, she was being all sobby and sappy like I care if for once in her life she acts like she cares. The only time she will hug me and be nice to me is thursday friday and the time she found out I SIed last year. Other then that we never get a long unless friends are over.
so I ended up trying to run away I didn’t get very far when a cop pulled up and asked me if I was who I was. We talked and talked and he asked if I had anything dangerous on me and I made sure when I ran away to get my stuff you know and he took them and asked to see my arms and asked if I had any open wounds. I didn’t really so I told him no. He was a really nice guy and we talked for awhile. He asked why I SIed and I told him because I hate myself so then we got on a long thing about valueing life and how much my friends must love me and how many people would miss me if I was gone.
After all that the crying in front of a guy who was a cop I just felt so empty in a way like I dont know small compared to life. I don’t know what to feel or think anymore. When I went out that door I felt free and happy. I haven’t been that happy for a long time it just felt like relief just washed over me. I didn’t have pressures about being better and I wouldn’t have to fight with my mother everyday. I felt complete at last.