today was… strange. i think god sent me a message. today when i went to school, the kids out front were selling cancer bracelets. they were only a dollar so i got one. the weirdest part? the bracelet the girl gave me said something that made me think. it said “hope”. the whole day i hardly spoke a word. i kept looking at this bracelet that said hope. and right over my bracelet i could see  my scars..

then, later that day my ex’s best friend noticed them. i thought to myself “no! no! NO!”. i knew eventually he would find out. he tells me that he thinks i suffer from depression. he know that i dont sleep or take care of myself anymore. and now that he knows this? he’s sure of it. he tells me i really need to tell my mom but i dont think that she could take. i am having enough problems with my brothers near death experience a few months ago. she has already been close to loosing a child and i dont think she could handle knowing that im so down. and with all of the bills for the doctor because of my back.. i cant do it.

 how am i suppose to quit all on my own?