Things were going so well for a while.
But I’ve started SIing again.
I am SO angry at myself. Not for the SI. Just for being me. I’m just full of anger, and I HATE MYSELF!!!
I feel completely worthless. Sometimes I think out society kinda tells women “if you’re not beautiful, you’re not worth the air you breathe.” Like, no other kind of accomplishment matters unless you’re pretty and feminine. I am neither.
I am worthless. I can’t push the bad thoughts out of my head to focus on anything. I can’t go anywhere where there’s people because I will full-out PANIC.
Life seems…pointless & there’s no one to talk to. I’ve lost contact with most of my friends and my mom would just make me feel guilty for thinking this stuff.
this post sounds exactly like some things I’ve written in my journal. It’s the pot calling the kettle black but dont be so hard on yourself. I’m definitely not feminine and I know what you mean society’s pressures. I have terrible anxiety and it is awful and I get mad at myself for that too =/ if you ever need someone to talk to or just a friend who gets it my email is TBoneFlo387@hotmail.com
take care
thank you 🙂