This week I went to a doctor. I got anti-depressants. But he was like “you’re such a stone cold person. Most people cry or are really sad when they talk about tough things like what you’re going through. But you, you just sit there or crack a joke or two. And I’m concerned because the sad and crying people are very vulnerable so medicine has a higher chance of working. With you, your vulnerability is vague. So you have a 50/50 chance of the medicine working.”
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT. That I’m so screwed up that nothing will work? Well if that’s the case, then why am I here?
He also compared me to my mother, who I can’t stand. I don’t want to be anything like her or have anything in common with her. SURPRISE! I now have depression, just like that horrible surrogate.
This horrid week is now over. I literally have no idea how much more I can take…but I suppose I’ll stick it out. What’s the worst that can happen?
I feel that is a bit strange for a doctor to come out and tell you some of what they said. I know every individual is different, but I was the same way when I went to my psychiatrist for the first time. He diagnosed me with depression as well and put me on medication. It has made a world of difference – once it started to take effect. Again, I know everyone is different and meds don’t always work for all people, but give it a chance. And being diagnosed with depression or any other thing for that matter, does not mean you are screwed up, or that you are your mother. It is a just a diagnosis – not a life sentence.
Stick it out – things might start to look up 🙂
I’m really sorry and a little aggravated that a doctor would say something like that to you. I’ve had many doctors throughout the years tell me that my body will not respond to psychiatric medications. I can relate to you there. What I don’t understand is why your doctor didn’t tell you that therapy and other alternative approaches can and will help you. It sounds like he/she made it look like this is the end of the road for you, when that is so far from the truth. Please believe me when I say that this isn’t a death sentence for you. I’d seriously consider seeing a therapist if you haven’t already, and consider changing Psychiatrists.
Good luck to you
I do see a therapist. She recommended me to the psychiatrist because i haven’t made any progress. I’ve been taking the medicine I already feel a little different but mostly it’s just side effects. I’m not going to lie, since he told me that I kind of don’t want them to work but at the same time I do. So I really don’t know…