This week I went to a doctor. I got anti-depressants. But he was like “you’re such a stone cold person. Most people cry or are really sad when they talk about tough things like what you’re going through. But you, you just sit there or crack a joke or two. And I’m concerned because the sad and crying people are very vulnerable so medicine has a higher chance of working. With you, your vulnerability is vague. So you have a 50/50 chance of the medicine working.”

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT. That I’m so screwed up that nothing will work? Well if that’s the case, then why am I here?

He also compared me to my mother, who I can’t stand. I don’t want to be anything like her or have anything in common with her. SURPRISE! I now have depression, just like that horrible surrogate.

This horrid week is now over. I literally have no idea how much more I can take…but I suppose I’ll stick it out. What’s the worst that can happen?