I find it good to write in here, it feels good to write out what i feel. This have been my secret since i was 13. I have so many scars that i don’t like to look at, i try to avoide looking at them. I try not to be reminded. I have tried a lot of things, i have tried walking it off, sleeping it off, and a lot of others things. Nothing really worked. Yesterday i failed. I felt like a failure.
You are not a failure just because you may have slipped up a bit. You just have to look at it as another learning experience, maybe try to see what you could have done instead, etc… You didn’t fail. You have done so well. One “mistake” doesn’t mean you fail. Everyone makes mistakes and slips up now and again. We just have to learn from those times.
As for the scars. I can definitely relate. It seems like a lot of folks on this blog can. They may always be there and they are apart of you. I understand the feelings that come from having them. I don’t like others to see them, but I don’t mind looking at my own. They remind me of who I am, and how far I have come. For me I look at them and remind myself that I have survived. I used SI a lot as a tool to survive when everything around me seemed like it was falling apart. I used SI so I wouldn’t fall apart with my world.
Keep trying and hang in there.