Well here i am again. One of my close guy freinds really likes me. And i dont know what im feeling… He doesnt know about my past with SI or anything about my personal life, family life or whats going on inside my head. I wonder if he would still feel the same if he really knew how messed up i am. I wonder if he would still care about me at all. And i really DONT want a relationship right now because i know i will never be good for someone, i will always be broken and theres nothing anyone can do to fix me. I know people want to help but theres honestly nothing they can do, i have to fight this battle on my own. I also cant trust myself to open up to anyone anymore. I opened up to my-now-exboyfreind and he realized that well im simply a hopless case. I also dont want to drag anyone else down with me. I dont want them to feel horribly guilty if im having another bad night. I dont want to be a burden because im “different”. Because im not like other girls, im not happy and cheery and “okay” im not normal. I feel so hopless. I mean he really wants us to be together but if he really knew me everything would shatter. And i feel like i simply cant be in a relationship with anyone for fear that simply being as messed up as i am will ruin everything and then id be heartbroken and alone again. I dont know if is the right way to feel but its what im feeling. And i dont want to make the same mistake i made last time as in dating my bestfreind and forever ruining our relationship. Please, please help me.