Trying to live up to my sister’s image is bad enough. She’s the perfect one; blonde, tall, skinny and smart.

Finding out that she’s just as messed up as i am, i don’t know which is worse. Finding out things i don’t want to find out is putting me in a rut.

Finding out that she’s miserable even. But more than that, that she can’t even talk to me about it. What am i supposed to do?

It’s funny, i tell her that she shouldn’t hurt herself. I tell her that it’s not good for her and that it’s not worth it, she’s better than that. But i sit there and ignore my own advice. I sit there and become a hypocrite, self harming myself when i tell her that she’s better than that. But that’s because she is and I’m not. She’ll always be the better one of us two.