Right now I am fighting the hugest urge. It’s only been two weeks since I last SIed. I don’t want to give in, yet at the same time I do. I grabbed a tool and it’s sitting right beside me. It was totally stupid of me. When I grabbed it I thought, just take it with you to prove how strong you can be. I don’t want to give in yet at the same time my entire being wants to. I hate myself for fighting and I hate myself for not giving in. All in all, I hate myself… It’s really quite dumb. I must not give in… I don’t know if I’ll make it though. I’m sorry to all those I have hurt in this battle.