For years I have been I have been asking God to send me someone to love. Someone who would love me with no end, who could be my best friend and who I could share every part of me, no matter how dark, with. Someone to care about me since no one around me does, someone who wasnt fake and who could just over all save me.
Last Summer, June 14th God answered my prayers. He gave me a 6ft, 17 year old, brown eyed, long brown haired boy. Basically perfect in my eyes, as I like my boys tall with long brown hair, older than me with brown eyes. He was the most perfect thing Id ever seen, and talking to him that night and our first kiss, I had never felt in a kiss what I felt when I first kissed him. When I kiss him now. He knows everything about me, even the deepest darkest parts, and he is my best friend. He is everything I asked for down to a T.
He turned 18 last November and will be going off to college in the fall. The best college for him to go to is this 1 year college that will get him his degree within a year and will pretty much garuntee him a job as soon as he gets out. Its such an amazing oppertunity for him, as his education is not the greatest in the past with the horrible life hes had to live. Since his sophmore year its gotten better though. This is the best thing for his future. It is in Indiana. 3 hours and 50 something minutes away from me.
He knows this is the best oppertunity for him, but hes not sure if he can handle leaving me and leaving his home here. We will have been together a year and 2 months by the time comes for him to leave for college. I feel like I am holding him back and if it werent for me hed take the offer and run with it so that he can garuntee him a far better future than anyone would have predicted for him.
Why would God do this. Why would God give me everything I had been asking for, let me hold on to it for a little bit, then rip it from me. I do not understand, ive done everything right as best as I could. I know God does everything for a reason, and I am not trying to undermine him or anything, but I do not get what his reasoning could possibly be for this. Because of him, I have hardly injured and havent been as depressed. He makes me sane. I do not understand why God would give me everything that completes me, and is now such a huge part of me, then rip it away from me so savage like.
Why does He like to see me so in pain. I just do not understand why God would do this. Why he wouldnt just keep me from finding him, since He is just going to rip him out of my arms in the fall. Idk.