I can’t get out of the cycle…SI, think about why I did it, realize the reasons are pathetic and SI because I was selfish to do it in the first place when people have much worse problems than me.
I started SIing about two years ago but I stopped doing it for around a 6 month period I don’t know how or why I stopped I just did. I was so busy I didn’t have time to think things through so therefore didn’t feel the need to SI, I just didn’t have time. But then I started again in September, I feel like such a failure.
I feel like a hypocrite, I tell my ex to stop SIing but I do it myself. He started doing it again because of me, he attempted suicide last week because he found out I have new boyfriend. Knowing that someone SIs because of me is just, I can’t even describe it. I never have told anyone about it, my friends mock people that SI, even though I know they would never take the mick out of me for doing it I still think they might say stuff about it behind my back. I can’t tell my boyfriend because he has problems of his own to worry about. I don’t want to add to the scars anymore.
You are a strong person, you can do this. You have overcome the first step of everything, admitting your issues and wanting to stop. You may want to look into finding a good therapist. Having the right frame of mind is the best thing for you right now. Talk to someone you trust about getting help, and remember you can always talk to us here.
<3 rescue
Thankyou so much. I can’t talk to anyone, I never have, I don’t know how. It’s hard even just to post it on here. I don’t know how to tell anyone, I can’t just bring it up. I have no one to talk to about it, I mean I have plenty of friends that would probably support me but I just don’t trust any of them enough to tell them. I can’t tell my well now ex boyfriend because we split up today, it’s made things so much worse. I don’t know anything anymore, I just don’t seem to know how to do anything, how to say anything without fear of upsetting someone, how to express myself. But Thanks anyway.