I can’t get out of the cycle…SI, think about why I did it, realize the reasons are pathetic and SI because I was selfish to do it in the first place when people have much worse problems than me.
I started SIing about two years ago but I stopped doing it for around a 6 month period I don’t know how or why I stopped I just did. I was so busy I didn’t have time to think things through so therefore didn’t feel the need to SI, I just didn’t have time. But then I started again in September, I feel like such a failure.
I feel like a hypocrite, I tell my ex to stop SIing but I do it myself. He started doing it again because of me, he attempted suicide last week because he found out I have new boyfriend. Knowing that someone SIs because of me is just, I can’t even describe it. I never have told anyone about it, my friends mock people that SI, even though I know they would never take the mick out of me for doing it I still think they might say stuff about it behind my back. I can’t tell my boyfriend because he has problems of his own to worry about. I don’t want to add to the scars anymore.