2/3/10 I had another catastrophic meltdown. That night I almost died. This is my story: She’s all alone again. Crying in the corner and there’s nothing left to do. She so sad, so lost, so horrified of who she has become and so misrable. She doesnt like anything about herself. She just wishes she could sleep. Its so late but she cant seem to get a grip, and calm herself enough to try to go to sleep. She feels so alone. She feels so helpless, hopless. She wishes there was someone out there who was like her. Someone out ther who she could talk to. She wishes alot of things. she wishes she was a normal girl. She wishes her daddy didn’t use and her mommy didn’t hate her so much. Most of all she wishes that she could have enough restraint to stop herself… That girl was me. I SI-ed that night.  I don’t write this to scare you or trigger you. I write this to give you hope. I WAS that girl. I am no longer. Its been 1 month, 3 weeks and three days since I last SI-ed. I’m so free. I’m so much happier. I feel like an actual person now.