you know how when you study for hours for a test and after you take it you know you failed? thats kinda how i feel…like i have failed myself. i havent si-ed in over 5 months but i feel like i never stopped in my heart and mind. i’ve invisioned it thousands of time, i’ve come so close…and now? well now i’m to my breaking mom is aleays criticising me, telling me day after day that i’m not good enough and i want to si so bad…i feel know i’m going to fail…again.