I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged here I’ve just been avoiding everything I can in this world (Including Myself). Ever since my last blog it seems like everytime I have something good happen, something bad follows. So I ask myself everyday why not just keep laying the bad stuff on so thick that it would be impossible to get out from underneath it. I have a chance to start college this Fall/Winter and I just want to stop this idiotic notion that I could actually make something of myself after all even after death I could still hear my family saying you’ll never amount to anything, but being a loser all your life. I have to agree because why did all the abuse that happen to me only happens to losers. So I’ve been doling out everything humanly possible to keep up the legacy in my family. I’ve been avoiding my Therapist & Psychiatrist, injuring myself with food which could cause other health problems and just do everything else to hurt myself so when I do hurt myself I could at least feel something and realize that HEY I”M ALIVE AFTER ALL! I feel that this is the only way to live right now because it’s normal to me. People tell me that I’m smart, if I was so smart why not realize that dreams only come true for those born with silver spoons in their mouths and not low lives like me. All I want is to bail out of this world so I could have some peace and so everyone else could all agree “THERE GOES THE BIGGEST LOSER IN LIFE.”