So, I had a breakdown yesterday, at school, in the office. It was kinda humiliating. Luckily no one really pressed me to get what was bothering me. But my life has just become so confusing, and it’s like hello? Is anyone there to realize I’m beginning to fade away? Can’t you just realize that I may be kind of scared to talk to someone, I’m sick of burdening people with this, so why don’t you talk to someone for me? Show me that you really care? I’m so done with this journey! If I would have known what would have happened, I would never have SIed the first time. I would never then have been brought to this place.
I know that I can get out of this, but I just don’t know how. I know that God will never leave me, I know that so stop telling me it! I’m done with this, and I’m worried something big will happen.
I’m so close to getting out of this, yet at the same time so far away I’m losing hope.
Keep having hope. In a world where nothing makes sense, hope is the only thing that keeps you going. I know that if it weren’t for the glimmer of hope that the people who love me keep alive, I would have given up already.
But I didn’t. I still have hope, and that’s what has kept me clean for the past three and a half months! 😀 You can do it too, trust me. It gets so much easier. There will always be rough patches, but in the end, you will come out stronger on the other side.
Staystrong