Reflecting scars

Reflecting faults




Am I a reflection?

Molded by the people who have

Loved and hurt me?

Is my reflection

Simply that of an unwanted girl

Alone in an unchangeable world

Marked and tainted

By scars

Physical and emotional


By tools and ex-best friends.

I am a dancer. I stare into mirrors every day. I look different after s.i. started. I stare into old pictures, trying to see a difference, trying to see that light in my eyes that used to come so


I am a dancer. I am never skinny enough, never good enough, never strong enough. I am a dancer. I am supposed to nurture my body, not want, crave, to hurt it. I don’t want to hurt myself. I just want to feel


And this is my medicine.

I am a dancer. I get measured, stared at, compared. They tell me that I’m skinnystrongbeautifulpowerful

A good dancer. Talented.

But when I stare into the mirrors, I see fat. I see weak. I see scars. I see broken eyes, staring aimlessly, numbly, ahead. Sometimes I see a glimpse of what other people see. I see that I am strong.  But they are scattered and too few to really believe.

I don’t need any more problems. But I want to be more beautiful. I don’t need any more problems. Is anyone there to catch me before I fall?

If anyone has felt this way… please help me…