Mirrors
Mirrors
Reflecting scars
Reflecting faults
Reflecting
Weaknesses
Reflecting.
Am I a reflection?
Molded by the people who have
Loved and hurt me?
Is my reflection
Simply that of an unwanted girl
Alone in an unchangeable world
Marked and tainted
By scars
Physical and emotional
Damaged
By tools and ex-best friends.
I am a dancer. I stare into mirrors every day. I look different after s.i. started. I stare into old pictures, trying to see a difference, trying to see that light in my eyes that used to come so
Naturally.
I am a dancer. I am never skinny enough, never good enough, never strong enough. I am a dancer. I am supposed to nurture my body, not want, crave, to hurt it. I don’t want to hurt myself. I just want to feel
Better.
And this is my medicine.
I am a dancer. I get measured, stared at, compared. They tell me that I’m skinnystrongbeautifulpowerful
A good dancer. Talented.
But when I stare into the mirrors, I see fat. I see weak. I see scars. I see broken eyes, staring aimlessly, numbly, ahead. Sometimes I see a glimpse of what other people see. I see that I am strong. But they are scattered and too few to really believe.
I don’t need any more problems. But I want to be more beautiful. I don’t need any more problems. Is anyone there to catch me before I fall?
If anyone has felt this way… please help me…
Staystrong.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! never forget that! i know exactly how you feel, im a volleyball player which means spandex and sports bras, i never felt that i was skinny enough either. it doesnt work it just makes you look like a ghost. Never ever feel that you are not beautiful no matter how ugly you seem to yourself you are Beautiful..and you are not alone!
Thank you so much. 🙂
i am a dancer too and always feel like this after i have SIed. a guilt that the knows how to reveal. you ARE beautiful: skinnystrongbeautifulpowerful. and talented. you are deffinantly talented when it comes to writing.. keep it up!
and thank you–This is exactly what i wanted to say, and couldnt find the words. You are amazing.. dont ever let yourself think otherwise!!
Thank you so much guys. 🙂
You’ve helped a lot.
Your posting is sooo beautiful. Thank you for posting it. I know how you feel and remember that you are beautiful! We all are, even with our scars. I am trying to gather stories and poems for a book where peoples names and info will be anonymous, this is so beautiful and I was wondering how you would feel it I used this? It is ok if you say no, I totally understand!