Well, I posted a bit back and said I was moving and starting a new job, etc. Well, I just got to my new place/state and I feel so utterly alone. I just got here and sobbed. I am an adult and this is what adults do – get promoted, move on to better their careers and hopefully life. Why am I so very scared? There is so much I have to do in order to get myself settled in a new place and get ready for my new job, but I can’t bring myself to hardly function. I just sit on my floor (because my furniture hasn’t got here yet) and feel so depressed and alone. I know no one and all my friends and family seem so far away. I am not sure if I can do this. I keep telling myself that this feeling is only temporary. Once I start my new job and meet people and get all my stuff things will start to look up. But I am afraid I can not make it until then.
I have been doing so well with the SI, but now that things have been unsettled in my life and all this new stuff is being thrown at me, and I am alone in this, I feel like I need some source of comfort. The one thing that I want to revert to is the one thing I know I shouldn’t. It just hurts so bad to be this alone, scared, and not confident in myself. I feel that if I were just able to SI I might feel a bit better – even though I know it would only be temporary too.
I just am not sure what to do. I feel stuck in a strange place all by myself and it is not a good feeling at all.