after my two week-strong stopping of self-injury, I have relapsed last night. After getting a boyfriend things were too stressful. There were so many people telling me I’m doing a good job, or making a mistake, and then the constant guilt of thinking of one of my best friends who I was betraying by dating him… So I broke up with him, sadly after I self-injured. And he got extremely mad at me, even after I apologized and explain what I was feeling. I felt extremely bad last night. I cried myself to sleep, because that same best friend I betrayed is now staying in a mental hospital place called Philhaven… For 10 days. She’s one of the only people I can talk to about my self-injury and depression and my dangerous thoughts. I felt mostly responsible. I told her that I broke up with him, I asked her that if I would break up with him, if it would make things right. She told me it would. This isn’t the only reason I’m doing it. I did it to be both a good friend to her and also because they did things when they were together. Things I can’t get out of my head. I also heard he was just using me for his own ‘pleasures’ and I don’t want to be that kind of girl. But she’s already going to Philhaven. She first went today. All day today during school, I was thinking about her, worried, wondering how she’s doing. I was extremely tired and almost cried in one class but luckily didn’t… It turns out though that everything is okay, because my ex and I are going to still be friends, he told me he was sorry for overreacting. I’m still unsure of our friendship, thinking things will get even more awkward, and I doubt I’m going to be talking to him very much… But yeah as of right now, I’m okay… well, not OKAY, but I’m at least not thinking of self-injuring right now… Earlier in the day, I was… but I think right now everything is calm. I don’t think things will stay that way, but as for now, its okay.